11. Rude Painting
"People come in and tell me that this picture is upside down, and I'm like, 'I know! I like it better that way!' There's something really intriguing about it- sometimes I think it's erotic, other times it's really nasty and oppressive. I think it's one of Madonna's favourites as well. There isn't very much art around the rest of the flat though- there's not many pictures you could stand to look at every day."

12. Rude Fruit
"This is the prize we won at the In The City conference for being the Best Unsigned Band. [Clearly unamused] It's very funny isn't it? Actually we were really pleased to win it, but the shine was taken off it as we were co-winners alongside Kula Shaker and Preformance [Paul Gallagher-managed no-hopers]. I mean, really, Preformance! We were so obviously the best band there, but I think it was some kind of publicity stunt."
Brian: "Actually, the story gets even more poignant. Peter Hook was on the judging panel and he slagged us off- he called us "a bunch of fucking whining Americans". That really broke my heart- there's few bands I like more than Joy Division [wipes away a mock tear]. Maybe Ian Curtis would've appreciated us more. Nobody's ever looked into the abyss as deeply as him."

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